Friday, August 21, 2009

Volleyball and networking

Ever since my sole half marathon accomplishment, people view me differently. A Director I used to work with introduced me to his team as a "runner" though I wouldnt really call myself one! Anyways there was a volleyball tournament between various Finance teams and our external auditors and in light of my newfound fitness, I signed up in enthusiasm. There were 4 guys and 1 girl on my team; all from the same Accounting group, I was kinda like the outsider in that overall group. Well the volleyball was fun, I played it for the first time in my life and had a good time. Our team actually won the tournament, thanks to the 4 competitive guys on our team who played fantabulously. Did I have fun? I guess I did....What spoiled it was this girl on the team who completely ignored me the whole time! We must have played about 8 matches with different teams and she chatted with everyone else but me! So was another guy on the team but atleast he wasnt even being friendly with anyone else so I didnt feel special in receiving his indifference. But this skinny stick of a girl! Condescending cow! And what has hurt me more is my reaction to it. Instead of being all - Geli khadyat (Go fall in a ditch) types, I hovered around her trying to make conversation and being friendly and just got hurt everytime she replied for the sake of replying and then coolly turned her back on me.

Now I look back on the whole episode and mentally smack myself; why the hell did I even bother trying to be friendly to that girl! My life - both personal and professional is blissfully complete, I have wonderful friends - why was I so upset with that rejection and that too from a female who I dont know or dont care about?

Currently as I am trying to switch jobs internally, the mantra put forth by all my managers/mentors/peers/janitor is to network, network, network! And I suck at it! I hate to set up stupid informational interviews with people just to kiss ass and make fake smiley conversation just so they might think of me when they are hiring someone in their group. Whatever happened to just talent?

Many times when you just feel like you have fitted in well, incidents like this happen when you are painfully aware of how sorely you really stick out. Its the same like driving, you get comfortable and think - Oh, I drive really well, I have been driving for x no of years etc and you just need one near miss of an accident to humble you and remind you that you are a constant learner.

So whats my mature solution to the stuck up idiot female, pretend that I am a woman with magical powers and stick a super bad luck curse on her.


  1. I have seen some people get ahead in lives through networking and i have started believing that's a talent too. Isn't it? To get along with so many people. The most social person I know, she can talk to people from totally different backgrounds and engage each like she was one of them. I really think its a great skill.
    About the condescending female,we all try to please initially thinking may be its just in our minds...we want to make sure, don't we? You are being too hard on urself. Be so hard on yourself, only if you continue to care about her the next time you play with her

  2. Yes it is true, I think most Asians are limited in networking by our culture (not to generalise or anything). We are by default shy and non bragging types.

    Thanks for your kind words as usual. I am not thinking abt that female anymore :)