Sunday, April 5, 2015


Yes, I am still on the same topic!!

I had gone to a "happy hour" hanging out with my boss and my colleague for a few hours. My boss was extremely interested in understanding my thought process behind marrying a complete stranger; he had many questions - would P be a guy I would pick if I had not gone in for an arranged marriage, is he Mr.Right etc etc. I have answered/tried to explain this to many of my white female friends but try explaining such intricacies and life philosophy to a white guy in his thirties; its a bit awkward and odd.

My colleague is a single dad with two kids under five. His wife left him to go live in another state to be a school teacher. His divorce was finalized last year. He is already actively dating. He had been married for nine years and dated with his wife for a couple of years so give or take had been with the same woman for a decade and more.

Another of my colleagues is in the process of divorcing a guy she met at our work place and married last May. Last May!!! It hasn't even been a year and she is getting divorced.

AND single dad and this colleague are already hooking up.

On some days I feel terribly old and terribly old fashioned. I cannot understand this age of instant romance and instant moving on. Don't 9+ years of a relationship mean anything? Doesn't a decision to marry someone after dating that someone for years mean anything? Do you even stop and think about, do I really want to be with this person - a guy who is a dad to two young kids, or is it just a rebound - lets have fun with each other and on to the next. Like a merry go round.

Doesn't anyone believe in marriages and till death do us apart anymore? Are these just general words that are uttered in marriage ceremonies as a part of tradition? I read somewhere that humans are not meant to be like penguins and to mate for life. Humans need more than one partner throughout their lives. Is that really true? Doesn't anyone want to settle down and focus their attention on making it work with one person and to live their life in a meaningful relationship anymore?

I am literally surrounded in this wave of divorces and break ups - people constantly moving on to the next shinier fitter model. And then what happens when the reality of life hits? When its 2 am at night and a kid throws up and you have an important presentation to make first thing in the morning. Or when its Saturday and you wake up and are reminded of the zillion chores waiting for you downstairs? Or when everyone seems hell bent on acting out and needs attention and you simply want to take a time out for yourself? Will these temporary infatuations and physical attraction driven relationships then sustain real life? Will whether we have the same interests as in watching baseball together or rooting for the same teams matter? I don't know. I am completely baffled by this express generation and realize that my thoughts match with folks who are an entire decade older in age than me. So I drink my drink and smile and try to stay neutral and keep my ancient thoughts on good solid relationships and lets make it work, instead of run ideas on love and marriage.

No comments:

Post a Comment