Zindaagi seriously na milegi dobara...

K Mama passed away today. I dont think he was even fifty. I dont know why I am hit so hard, I cannot stop crying. He has an old mother, a wife and a daughter trying to make sense of the shock, which his sudden death brought. I visited http://www.motherhoodinnyc.com/, Marinka always makes me laugh and saw that she had posted a message about her blog friend losing her seven year old son. There is so much pain in this world.

We take life and people so much for granted. One of my cousins had posted a FB status saying "Remember the saying - you dont know what you have until it goes away", she said that everyone knows exactly what they have but they never think it will go away. Which is so true. Even though superficially we may worry about a thousand different things - the next step in our career, home improvement projects, issues with children, issues with no children, mother in law issues, mother issues...the list is unending..even though on the face of it, we could even have a new issue to worry about everyday, in the bottom of our heart, we also know the good things we have. And when we hear about an unfortunate accident or someone facing a terrible loss, we hug our loved ones tight and realise this is what life is all about.

K Mama and his wife had a rocky married life. She is downright lazy and selfish. Plus she is blessed with a mother in law who wakes up at the crack of dawn and does every single thing around the house without any complaint. So that only further fueled her inertia. They somehow decided to adopt a daughter. Mami has limited affection and responsibility towards her so the girl naturally is very attached to her father and grand mother. Destiny is cruel to that girl. It snatched away her birth parents from her and then once again took away her adopted father...

I wonder how each person's destiny gets written. Does God sit up there with a team of Ekta Kapoor like script writers/plot writers and go - Okay, lets just fill this sucker's life up with sorrow. Or lets make sure this girl is seperated from her birth parents. What is it? Do we get a destined start and then everything else is our doing? The decisions we take, the attitude we maintain and the situations we create with both; do they shape our future destiny?

Its so easy to forget...its so easy to get carried away, bogged down by routine and the thousand mundane things in life...

My company got bought by a big shot one and one of my AP managers returned back from vacation. A colleague asked her what she thought about the deal, she simply said "If I had known, I wouldnt have worked hard on my vacation". All of us would have a million "If I had known..." except life is not cruel to each of us. But for the ones who lose something/someone, regret is always one of the first emotions to hit. If I would have known, I would have spent more time with him/her, I would have relaxed more....and on and on it goes....

I will not live my life in regret. I have to learn how to distinguish between relationships with a future and futile relationships and not spend time/energy/emotion on the failed ones. I have to accept they have failed and not try to fix them over and over. The main thing is to live each and every day of this blessed life with happiness and satisfaction.

N.e.e.d t.o. s.l.e.e.p