Wednesday, January 17, 2018

If you didn't post it, did it not happen?

I love Facebook, it connected me with my birth dad and for that I am eternally grateful to that platform. For the joy, the pain, the tears and the closure, it has given me. I no longer wonder about my roots, the genes I have inherited and if he had any regrets not having me in his life. The truth is not always kind but its up to you to absorb the harshness and to look for the lessons learnt, in the journey of obtaining the truth.

So I do love Facebook, I love looking at the status updates of various far flung friends and relatives, applaud them on their achievements, offer condolences on their loss and get tips on hot travel destinations or that restaurant they tried or the wonderful DIY decorations someone made for their kids's parties. I even borrow P's phone some time for a change in scenery :) None of it personally affects me (yet) (I think :)).

Some friends of mine get aggravated and upset by the various social media - forwarded articles, debates and show off posts get to them personally and a few of them have deleted their accounts or exited the groups to avoid this frustration. I also know many of these folks who post every single minute of their life and every minor achievement. I know what goes into getting that perfect picture on a windy frigid afternoon when all her daughter wanted to do was to sled with her cousins, but she had to freeze (literally and figuratively) while her Mom adjusted her hair for the perfect winter day picture with the perfect tagline "Zero degree temperature wont stop us ha ha" etc. It also takes on an even bigger obsession for others, where now I have begun to suspect if they do certain things only to keep their online persona propped up?

And what does that say to the rest of us who do not constantly share every detail of our lives on Facebook? Does that volunteering activity that we did, no longer count because we didn't post it online and it didn't get liked by hundred people with whom I barely exchange a phone call with, ever? Does the fun that I had with my kids when we baked dozens of cookies and ate half of them right away, the cookie batter licking, mess creating, sugar rush giving activity; does that count if I didn't post the yummy pictures online with a profound tagline of my "quality" time with my kids? What is the healthy balance here?

I also write a private blog only for my kids - its shared with family and family friends only. Sometimes my kids will say "Oh mommy, quick, put it on the blog". I hope the day never comes when they think of doing something because it is blog worthy material. All of us are living our own mini reality show series as we capture every event, every activity, every moment and try to showcase it in one media or the other. When we get all stressed out because our phone died and we couldn't take a picture of that magnificent sunset we just viewed.

We ran into acquaintances in Florida, and upon exchanging travel itineraries, the couple panicked for a brief moment when we told them we had just visited Siesta key. They panicked until they remembered they had already been there, a few years back. Peace was restored upon that realization :) They nonchalantly talked about seeing dolphins frolic in the water at another beach and ticked off all the "must do - must see - must eat" items on their list, per popular public opinion sites. Watching wild dolphins in the water is not an everyday thing (for me) and I pray and hope that this wonder of nature, travel and spending time with each other, never ceases for me or my family. Because ultimately at the end of the day, that's what matters, the memories you make, the security and love you feel; these emotions are absorbed into every core of your body making you healthier and stronger for the day that's to come. The happiness that filled my heart as I walked down the beach, hand in hand with P, the girls running ahead of us is enough to sustain me for the next mini obstacle or disappointment to come in our lives. And it doesn't matter that I did not post my joy on Facebook.

So while I do post updates myself and enjoy the updates posted by my friends, look forward to updates from people I have not been in touch with for a long time; love my Facebook people watching, picture surfing; I also have no more patience left with the people who do not make an effort to actually be the person, they portray to be on social media, to also take a minute to acknowledge and thank their support team when they are busy posting personal accomplishments and to stop inconveniencing the rest of their party only for that perfect shot.

So lets all remember to thank our spouses who stepped in and picked up the slack (because slack there will be) when you were out training for that marathon or shining on work assignments and you post that achievement as soon as its complete; acknowledge that friend of yours who took efforts to throw an awesome party that you so enjoyed (and she doesn't take to FB to post minute by minute account of it) and offer thanks to God for the vivid beauty that he created and you enjoy on your expensive vacations around the globe. Lets be more thankful, more humble and more present! And lets always remember that only because someone does not post it, it does not mean they do nothing worth while in their lives. 

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