Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Mental smack

Sometimes I wish I had the ability to make myself invisible like Mr.India or possess an invisibility cloak like Harry Potter. It would be so very useful to turn invisible and smack moronic people on the head and then resume your conversation with them patiently.

I was so excited when a desi family moved in, just a couple of houses away from us. They have a young daughter and I imagined us bonding over impromptu evening dinners and such. No such luck! The lady of the house; the idiot girl and I really do not share the same wavelength. I actually get along very well and am quite fond of her mother in law, with whom she shares a very uncomfortable relationship with :)

Anyhow, she has a MBA from a leading business school and is quite proud of it but Missy, it doesnt show anywhere, you are still as crass and unsophisticated as the next bum on the road! She has said so many inappropriate things to me. Last fall, when they visited during my whole pregnancy saga, I hadnt yet miscarried and I mentioned to her tearfully that maybe this is for the best and in a way I might be relieved when this is all over. She calls me the day after my miscarriage and surgery and is surprised to hear me sound low and says "Arey tuney hi toh bola tha you will be relieved, why are you not happy?" Ummm idiot!

She called me yesterday saying "For some reason, I was thinking you are going to deliver in June". Well that was my due date from my last pregnancy, idiot, any woman who has delivered a child should be more aware of this. So she was asking about child care arrangements after the baby is born etc, and I said "Ya, we need to look for a nanny, I will have to ask you for advice because you have seen the good and bad (they have had a nanny for their child ever since her birth)". So she goes "Arey peheley sab theek toh honey do, last time ki tarah is baar problem toh nahin hain na?". Tears sprung to my eyes and I fought back irritation and calmly said "No, there is no problem this time etc". B%^&ch, I am entering my third trimester, dont you dare nazar lavofy my pregnancy, at this juncture, you pretty much assume that you wont have any problems with your pregnancy. I was so upset last evening and my pregnancy hormones ensure that I can longer shrug off any kind of unpleasant episodes without mulling over it too long. So I am giving myself therapy by venting here, venting to my family and I am not such a big person to pray to God for forgiveness for her or anything, I am rather going to hope she faces the same things in life that I have had and develops some more compassion towards people in similar situations.

Oh yeah, and The Great's thoughts about layoff - If the company really needs you and values you, they will never lay you off. Really!! In today's world? Open your eyes, glamor MBA, look around and see whats happening, its all about the bottom line now. I hope she gets a kick in the ass soon and no red carpet exit. And I hope none of this ill wishing that I am doing for her boomerangs back to me :)) God, you know, I am a nice person, dont you? :) So all of you, who are reading this post, I hope you nod your head in agreement and say "Yes, what an idiot!" (to the girl, not to me)


  1. Avoid her..!

    She is not worth even talking ... I don't know how do you tolerate such idiotic & jealous kind of people..

  2. I have commented here before, and I understand your fear and pain.
    My god what an idiot! You know, when I was going through my miscarriage I was shocked to find that one of my best friends did not so compassion at all. I did not expect her to stop her life and worry for me, but I wanted her to say some words of sympathy, but she said nothing and was more worried about her daughter pooping on time :( sometimes people are just like that, they cannot connect to others' pain. Hugs to you. NOTHING bad will happen. Ignore her. You don't need friends like her.

  3. Oh my god, what an idiot (her, not you). How can she be so insensitive. So much education (MBA and all) and this is what she has learned? What a loser. I was fuming when I was reading this post, I can't even imagine how it must've been for you when she said those words. Many many hugs, Sonia.

    Don't fret over such unsympathetic souls. Not worth it. Ignore her.

    Take care. Hugs!

  4. Aww Thanks you guys!! I do feel a lot better after venting it out and listening to you and my family. My parents were also furious with her and said "Stay away from her".
    Prasad: Will try my best to avoid her now. Thanks :)
    Anon: Thats really sad! And your best friend has a kid herself so she should have been able to imagine the pain of losing one. Some people are just very immature and wrapped up in their own world :(
    Titaxy: Thanks for the concern sweetie...I was really so upset yesterday and then I kinda started getting just a teeny bit freaked out by staring at my tummy and thinking - Is it not big enough, is everything allright :)) But no more now..

    Thanks for your sweet comments, I am over her totally now :)

  5. I am wondering whether some people take up special courses that teaches " how to be insensitive B&***h". I have found some who fall in the same category. But don't worry all goes that comes back they say. :-)

  6. Bluemist: time I have decided I am not going to listen to such BS like a poor downtrodden helpless female but will say something back to let her know I dont appreciate it..

  7. Just tune her out..or better still avoid her.. Such people are never good for you..but especially the time like yours.. Who needs extra reasons to get upset when the third trimester is hard enough.

    Take care of yourself..relax as much as you can..put your feet up when you can.. Smile and think happy baby thoughts..

    Loads of hugs..

  8. I swear, the bl**dy idiot!!! Avoid her. Avoid people like her. Anytime she calls or you meet her, say a HUGE CHEERY HI and then run like hell :-) I have this neighbour of mine, who always always used to send me into depression by saying mean things about my son or my personal life!! Slowly I learnt to avoid her, but even now if we happen to chat over phone, the conversation almost always leaves me disturbed. So best to avoid such people!!!

  9. Comfortably: Thanks yaar. The thing is that I dont think she even realises how she sounds when she says what she says. From next time I am going to reply - What do you mean by that? I am tired of BS..
    Writerzblock: Oh man, your neighbor sounds terrible!! I dont get how people feel entitled to criticize other people's kids??

  10. Sonia, some people just cannot or do not want to imagine themselves into others' misfortunes. To make themselves feel better and to have the illusion that such tragedies cannot happen to them, they further pick on the suffering person, I've experienced this with my loss.

    Just stay away from her, and if you do bump into her and she talks crap again, ask her a question like the one you've suggested, "Why did you say/ask that?" Or "What do you mean?" and then keep silent...if she has a heart or common sense, she'll get it. If she doesn't, give her only silence.

    Big hugs.