Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Life is a roller coaster ride

Its ups and downs, ups and downs...and then you suddenly realise someone would gladly trade your downs - they are super ups for them compared to their downs - you get what I mean.

I have two fibroids nestled in the walls of my uterus - my gynecologist pretty much said that we cant do anything about it, it is a tendency, they will come, cause pain and then go and all we can do right now is monitor. It is genetic and my birth mom and her mom both have had uterus removal operations at some point of time and I am destined that way too from my tendency to create fibroids :) So painful periods is what I am going through right now..

R hates her new school. She has always been a difficult child with transitions. Everyday its something different - the first day, some boy sat next to her on the bus and told her as she was Indian and he didnt like Indians, he didnt want to sit by her and just because he had no choice, he was. The next day another boy said the corn in her lunch box smelt like someone had farted and she quietly closed the lid and didnt eat a bite. The third day the same boy asked to see her stinky lunch and then spit in it, so once again the lunch box came home uneaten. Poor child! Despite all this she is happy and then breaks down and then happy again and I keep watching her unable to figure out if she is having a bad day or a good one.

P hates his work, he graduated in one thing, did his Masters in another, worked in a similar field, went back and got his MBA in a third, switched fields again and is unhappy now. Has been unhappy for the past six years and makes excuses to change his situation. I miss my husband - the one who was confident and happy. I see him now and he always seems to be overwhelmed and steps away from saying - everything sucks. I had a fight with him last night and he immediately went into "I cant make my parents happy, I cant make my sister happy, I cant make you happy, I hate my job, I wont get another job"....sighh...

There is a mountain of dishes in the sink and loads of laundry to put away. All I want to do is win the lottery and go away somewhere - be free of all responsibilities and routines.

Then when its midnight and I am crying in self pity over my petty issues, I meet a friend who is bravely facing real ones and it is like a slap to reality. Her husband is fighting blood cancer and she is one of the strongest most positive people I know. No one can guess from her FB posts of what she is going through.

And then I say another prayer to thank God for giving me petty issues to fret over and promise myself tomorrow will be better and go to sleep.


  1. you need to speak to the teacher about this Bully kid. Chances are he is probably coming from an abusive home himself so is taking it out on someone.
    More importantly you have to teach our kids to stand up against bulying.
    It will get better.