Trying to keep smiling....

For 2 weeks after I had found I was pregnant, I realised that I could no longer multi task ie listen to music while work etc. Today I can, I am listening to Pandora's box (which I LOVE btw; you need to try it, you can put in your favorite singer/song/movie and it customizes a playing list for you!!)..Anyways as I listen to music and work, I suddenly freaked out - OMG my baby is no longer there, thats why I am back to normal :((

My legs hurt, I freak out suddenly thinking - Am I going to start bleeding and lose my baby!

My lower back hurts, inspite of myself, I have that melt down moment when I cry and think - Oh man, lower back pain is a sign of low progesterone, my progesterone must have plunged, I am going to lose my baby!

This time around though, I know what happens in a miscarriage and have lived through it already and do not want to face it again. So the urge to mentally shield myself from that pain makes me think optimistic.....

Deep breaths S, you wont lose your baby, your baby is fine, its thriving, progesterone will be tackled, it doesnt mean anything is wrong with your baby, tomorrow when you get blood test results back, you will see, HCG will have gone up, progesterone will have improved, you will hold your cute baby in your arms in November. For now, do not freak out, stay strong, stand strong.....Easy peasy giving advice to oneself, now to go ahead and follow it.....Pray for me, will you?