Literally........I have to take a shot for progesterone daily now till my first trimester gets over. Seems that my body has just stopped creating any progesterone whatsoever and the supplements (shooting cream up the....) doesnt seem to do any good now.
One of my good friends at work who has been through multiple IVF cycles and stillbirths and babies born pre pre pre maturely and then wait for them to pass away; this is one amazing female, she has been through hell, but always had an awesome attitude to dealing with everything and an unwavering spirit. Anyways, when she heard I have to take the shots, she told me - In all the horrible things I have gone through, I thought this was the worst! Then went on to describe how the needle is thick, how the injection solution being oil based is thick and takes a long time entering the body, how the injection site becomes painful, swells and what not, it seems like an ordeal.
So naturally after this discussion, I had a million butterflies in my stomach, I was soooooooo nervous that I drove straight to my neighboring Indian restaurant and got a to-go Indian buffet. Its funny how I turn to food immediately as a coping mechanism. And then off we went to the doctor, my sweetheart husband, me and Mom where the doctor taught P how to give me the shot. The doctor being so experienced and all, I didnt feel it at all. I was bracing myself for a very painful shot and what not but surprisingly I didnt even feel the needle, she is so awesome. I felt immense relief.
Sometimes I reminisce about the days when we were newly wed and how P had eyes only for me etc. Now everytime I have any type of conversation, his eyes are on the TV/laptop/newspaper etc....and how I used to get mad at him sometimes thinking the romance has gone from our lives and it has become routine....Anyways its times like this - standing in the doctor's office seeing P intently listen to the doctor's instructions on how to adminster the shot. He never even once hesitated to say "Of course I will give you the shot" and the emotions overwhelm me. I love this guy so much. I dont care if he doesnt hug and kiss me and say I love you all the time (he never did, he is the strong silent types); his actions speak louder than words. Running that half marathon with me, backing me up in endless baseless complaints by his mother, cooking, chores and playing with R as I lie on the sofa tired from work at the end of the day and holding me as I cried through the night during bleeding episodes, this is the real romance and I am glad to have him. Love you so much my P..