Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A miscarriage story

I had a D&C suction procedure done yesterday. What it means is a miscarriage in a controlled environment. Monday ultrasounds had already confirmed no fetal activity, it had passed away sometime during the earlier week. So the doctor was kind enough to schedule the procedure for me asap and not wait for nature to take its course. This way I can move on with less physical pain.

My surgery was scheduled at 11 AM. 11 hour fasting with no food/water, we reached the Day Surgery wing of the hospital by 9.15 AM as instructed. As we sat in the waiting room and watched the nurses go in and out of the ward, I made mental notes of who I dont want, there was one nurse who looked especially strict and the minute I said to myself, I dont want her, she called my name and said "I will be your nurse"!! But she turned out to be really really sweet and I got a lot of pats and Darlings and my poor baby and sweethearts all through my stay there :) Then there was an anesthesiologist - a desi one, about my age and I thought - I dont want him (what if I meet him in the temple or something and he remembers me, I dont want him to see my ....), and a minute later I was shaking hands listening to him explain to me how he was going to deliver the general anesthesia. I remembered this deep philosophy funda told to me by my best friend, "Life is like rowing a boat, sometimes no matter how hard you steer it doesnt go in the direction you want it to, so you just let go of the oars, sit back and let it take its course".

Anyways after tons of forms filling; there was also one on fetal disposition where Nini (my lovable nurse) placed her hand on mine sympathetically and asked me if I had my own funeral arrangements, I was stumped for sometime and then realised she was asking me how to dispose of the remains of my conception. When I was telling this to P later on, he genuinely thought they were asking about "my" arrangements in case I pass away suddenly during surgery hehehe, taking signing the consent forms to a whole new level :))

Stripped down, in the hospital gown, IV started, waiting game for the doctor begun. I saw all the patients around me come and go, wheeled out to the OR - interesting to look at the anxious faces of those who had been bravely chattering away minutes ago. The gall bladder to be removed lady next to me was discussing/planning her entire Thanksgiving dinner with her husband - descriptions of truffles stuffed with caramel, mashed potatoes etc made me want to throw the curtain aside and shout at her to shut it, I was so starving. Though P said it was more a mental thing as I was getting all the nutrients I needed from the IV :)

The doctor finally showed up at 11.40 AM, the nurse injected something in the IV to help me relax, they started wheeling me towards the OR, doors opening and I woke up in the recovery room :) Isnt anesthesia a beautiful thing?? I remember nothing in between :)

The procedure took about half an hour and I had been out for an hour. Then from a bed in the recovery ward to a reclining chair in the discharge ward or whatever its called, nausea from anesthesia so meds for it, dizziness, grogginess, weakness, two hours later I was about to pull the IV from my hand and go home myself so I started hitting P (I am sure I didnt, husbands lie when wives are delirious) that I need to go home right now and tell the nurse/doctor that I have to go. So I lied my way through - Oh yeah, I feel fine, was wheeled out in a wheelchair, put in my car and helped to the sofa where I collapsed in relief :)

Aai had lunch ready as usual so ravenously ate poli bhaaji koshimbir and promptly dozed off.

R was so sweet about being quiet and not disturbing me as I slept. 2 hours later she could no longer take it and came over and I could hear her Mommy Mommy Mommy :) P said that she had also tried fake coughing to wake me up :)

Well apart from the stomach pain which goes away with painkillers and the exhaustion from going through this drama, I am fine. And I think I will get even better as the physical pain heals.

So this was it, we have checked off miscarriage on our list of things we have gone through and came out stronger :) Looking forward to a good rest of the year and an awesome 2010, after all we will be celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary next year!!


  1. I love how you have written this post Sonia. It says so much about you as a person. I really respect you a lot after reading this. This post will stay with me for a long time and help me through the phases of self pity I often get into and save a lot of people from my 'why me' drama in the future.
    Hope you recover well.
    Wishing you a very happy 2010.

  2. That was too sweet T&D. Woh Seven habits of highly effective people hain na, usme hain ki if you cannot choose/change the outcome, you can atleast change your attitude towards it, I always remember it nowadays. Aur na first day I took that horrible shot, I flung myself on the bed and cried "Why me" :))