I wish I were pregnant! Why did I have a miscarriage? My company is going to have a major restructuring effort come June and there is a very high possibility of me getting laid off. It would have been so perfect if I hadnt lost my baby, I would be going on maternity leave and would not care about the job or whatever. I could have spent time with my baby and then looked for a job at my leisure.
Now I am stressed about when would I get pregnant again.....my periods are a week away and I am already thinking about them. I saw the Time traveller's wife movie yesterday and everytime she had a miscarriage and bled, I cringed and was terrified. I am scared of my pregnancy, scared of my gyne saying Oh progesterone is low again, start the injections :((
I am worried of looking for a new job and then finding out I am pregnant, worried that I will be pregnant, will start to show and no one will employ me, I do not want to postpone my plans to get pregnant, I am worried I am getting older.....
Anyways I should focus on the good things in my life. My sister cant get pregnant and doesnt have a child. What will she be thinking? I need to be grateful for R and grateful for the flexible work life balance I enjoyed when she was little. I need to believe in myself and my abilities and keep faith that I can get back to work after a mini break, just in case I need to take one. I need to believe that things will be allright and everything will fall into place and when it does, I will feel that the timing was just right and I worried for no reason..