Monday, February 22, 2010

Miscarriage woes

I wish I were pregnant! Why did I have a miscarriage? My company is going to have a major restructuring effort come June and there is a very high possibility of me getting laid off. It would have been so perfect if I hadnt lost my baby, I would be going on maternity leave and would not care about the job or whatever. I could have spent time with my baby and then looked for a job at my leisure.

Now I am stressed about when would I get pregnant again.....my periods are a week away and I am already thinking about them. I saw the Time traveller's wife movie yesterday and everytime she had a miscarriage and bled, I cringed and was terrified. I am scared of my pregnancy, scared of my gyne saying Oh progesterone is low again, start the injections :((

I am worried of looking for a new job and then finding out I am pregnant, worried that I will be pregnant, will start to show and no one will employ me, I do not want to postpone my plans to get pregnant, I am worried I am getting older.....

Anyways I should focus on the good things in my life. My sister cant get pregnant and doesnt have a child. What will she be thinking? I need to be grateful for R and grateful for the flexible work life balance I enjoyed when she was little. I need to believe in myself and my abilities and keep faith that I can get back to work after a mini break, just in case I need to take one. I need to believe that things will be allright and everything will fall into place and when it does, I will feel that the timing was just right and I worried for no reason..

5 comments:

  1. Take a short vacation with your hubby and R. It sometimes works wonders. BTW I tagged you to participate in the indusladies contest.

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  2. Thanks T&D, will definitely think of something..

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  3. I've heard that stress tends to have a negative effect on conception... so just chill sweetie.

    Things might be tough at the moment...but is there even one issue that would worry you three years hence?

    Just go with the flow, engage your thoughts positively... everything will be okay :)

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  4. So sorry to hear this. Hugs!!!

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