Sunday, February 28, 2010

Courage

I am paranoid about this pregnancy. Exactly like last time, my tummy and back are hurting, the only symptoms of pregnancy that I have are achy boobs and a slight nausea and tiredness. Achy boobs come and go freaking me out even more. Every morning I wake up and look for the achy boobs or the nausea, the normal symptoms of pregnancy and they reassure me. Sometimes when its just the achy tummy and the back, I get so scared its going to be a repeat telecast of last times. I wonder if your hormones just up and quit as you get older? I had read that lower backache is a sign of low progesterone levels but if an ignorant person like me turns to the internet for answers, there are a hundred symptoms and a hundred causes and you kinda choose your worst fears from them.

I am so very worried about the blood test. I am scared of hearing the same verdict - low HCG, low progesterone. I am scared of the painful progesterone shots. I am scared of having another miscarriage. I am scared my body is never going to create the requisite hormones level ever and every pregnancy attempt will be difficult. I am scared P is going to say "We dont need another kid". I am so tired.

I am going to call my gyne on Monday and just tell her FYI..If she wants me to go in immediately for a blood test, then doodh ka doodh aur paani ka paani ho hi jaayega. If she suggests to wait a few more weeks to see what nature has planned for me, I just have to clear my mind and focus on other things. In any case I need to put my hand on my heart and say "Aal izz well".

3 comments:

  1. Dont worry. Think happy thoughts! I am sure everything will go fine with this pregnancy. :)

    And when are you due? If only I knew you a month back, I would have included you in that online baby shower we conducted. Damn! :(

    BTW, do the boobs really get sore and ache that much? *GULP* :S

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  2. Honey, a month back I wasnt even pregnant so no babyshowers for me yet :) Its pretty early right now. Hehee everyone has some or the other complaints and then there are the others who have a perfectly calm and no aches pains pregnancy, maybe when its your time, you will be one of them :)

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  3. Aal is well :) Just think positive thoughts, you have no idea how they impact your body! Really :)

    Divert your mind and wait it out. God bless you and give you the courage!

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